I’m Awesome

By Spose.

I don’t necessarily need to be here for this
I’m going to keep the headphones up

Motherfucker, I’m awesome, no, you’re not, dude, don’t lie
I’m awesome, I’m drivin’ around in my mom’s ride
I’m awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online

Motherfucker, I’m awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I’m awesome, there’s no voicemail, nobody called
I’m awesome, I can’t afford to buy eight-balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall

You know my pants sag low, even though
That went out of style like ten years ago
Spose, I got the swagger of a cripple
I got little biceps, getting fatter in the middle

And lyrically I’m not the best
Physically the opposite of Randy Moss and yet
So preposterous, feel the awesomeness
The most obnoxious guest up at the sausage-fest

Oh yes, the girls are repulsed
So I hide in my hood like I’m joining a cult
I’m as nervous as my cat Ol’ Dirty Curtis
All my writtens are bitten and all my verses are purchased

Me? I’ll never date an actress, got too many back zits
Plus my whole home-aroma is cat piss

Every show I do is poorly promoted
And if you like this it’s ’cause my little sister wrote it

I’m awesome, no, you’re not, dude, don’t lie
I’m awesome, I’m drivin’ around in my mom’s ride
I’m awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online

Motherfucker, I’m awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I’m awesome, there’s no voicemail, nobody called
I’m awesome, I can’t afford to buy eight-balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall, I’m awesome

Check it out, I’m from Maine and I don’t hunt
(Nope)
And I can’t ski, smoke weed but I can’t roll blunts
Find me whipped by my wifey, my neck not icy
Eatin’ at McDonalds because Subway’s pricey

And my unibrow’s plucked
Just asked my mom if I could borrow ten bucks
She’s like, “For what? Blunt wraps and some Heinekens?
You skinny prick, go get a gym membership and vitamins”

I’m like, mom, please don’t blame it on me
I got my bad habits from you, Dad, and Aunt Steve
My attitude’s sour but my futon’s sweet
And the hair on my ass, it is Jumanji

Suit untailored, ringtone Taylor Swift
Can’t tweet up on my twitter ’cause I haven’t done shit
Bank account red, body un-groomed
The only good thing about me is I’m off stage soon

I’m awesome, no, you’re not, dude, don’t lie
I’m awesome, I’m drivin’ around in my mom’s ride
I’m awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online

Motherfucker, I’m awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I’m awesome, there’s no voicemail, nobody called
I’m awesome, I can’t afford to buy eight-balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall, I’m awesome

Furthermore, I’m cornier than ethanol, cheesier than provolone
I spent ages eight to ten living in a motor home
With an ego the size of Tim Duncan
Even though I got shit for brains like a blumpkin

I’m twenty-four serving lobster rolls
Because I spent a decade filling Optimals
And I’m not even the bomb in Maine
On my game, I’m only about as sexy as John McCain

Now put your hands up if you have nightmares
If you wouldn’t man-up if there was a fight here
If you got dandruff, if you drink light beer
I’m out of breath

I’m awesome, no, you’re not, dude, don’t lie
I’m awesome, I’m drivin’ around in my mom’s ride
I’m awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online

Motherfucker, I’m awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I’m awesome, there’s no voicemail, nobody called
I’m awesome, I can’t afford to buy eight-balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall

I’m awesome

-All

[Lyrics source.]

Starfuckers: The Estate and Other News

The house closed today so we of course went over there at eleven o’clock…and the people that lived there before weren’t moved out all the way even though they were supposed to (nine o’clock was their deadline). We (my mum, Bart, James, and I) didn’t care, though. We went about our business as the mover people were moving shit out. We brushed a little of the paint samples on the walls; red in the kitchen, goldish and green-grayish in the living room, pukey-green and brown in James’s room, and a beautiful darkish gray in my room, as shown above. I am fucking getting gray in my room, bitches. My mum says that she’s going to paint the (horrible) trim white all over the house so we can do it in my room, too. So yay. I’m also going to get some shelving around the window and in the closet and I’m going to get a metal square thing and put it on the wall so I can have magnets and such. I’m pretty fucking excited for that. I’m also going to have a “creeper wall”, as I have donned it, with a whole bunch of shit I love. It might just be taped on my desk, but I’m not sure. So yeah.

We spent the whole day there–or they did, at least my mum and Bart. I had to leave at around three to go to work. They stayed there, though, until at least eight. Our neighbors (Michelle, Aaron, and Sauce) went over and painted some, and Bart got almost all of the tile up in the kitchen. I figure we’ll work over there whenever each of us isn’t working or going to class, which will be a lot. Oh, and we bought the previous owners’ outside table and chairs (lawn furniture or whatever it’s called) which is nifty because it was only a hundred dollars and something similar to it was like four hundred.

I’m fucking crazy with finals and everything. I actually should be in bed right now so I can get up tomorrow morning to do shit, but this was important.

Work was good. I got invited to one of my friend’s housewarming parties in July. I listened to Passion Pit’s new single and I love it a lot. I’m excited for their new album this summer. I’ve been trying some new music because I feel like I need it, so I’ve been like hoarding CDs from the library. The new shit I’m trying (no judging):

Helplessness Blues – Fleet Foxes (they came up on my Mumford iheartradio station)
If Not Now, When? – Incubus (because they’re touring with LP and I should give them a try)
Indian Summer – Carbon Leaf (I remember the name from something so whatever)
Love to Live – Living Sisters (was just in the folk section while I was skimming through)
Monuments and Melodies – Incubus (same as above)
Pioneer – The Maine (because Britta likes them)
Sacred Songs – Daryl Hall (okay, I like Hall & Oates, whatever)
Sainthood – Tegan & Sara (I heard about them somewhere)
Scratch My Back – Peter Gabriel (I like his In Your Eyes song and his cover of My Body is a Cage)
Twin Cinema – The New Pornographers (they’ve been staring at me for a while so I thought I’d try)

My iPod says I have 173 albums. That seems like a lot.

Anyway, I think that’s all that’s going on. My back hurts so fucking much and so do my legs and especially my right knee. I’ve been thinking about tattoos to get this summer (maybe “Mae”, because it’s my grandmother’s middle name? Or something like “Ma[kenzi]e” because that’s my middle name and hers all squished or whatever). I have a tumblr. It’s up on the menu as “mediocre.muon” because I’m still a little shy about it. I don’t let myself on it, though, since I have so much shit to do. Like a substantial amount of shit that needs to be done. I’m in denial about House. I don’t- no. I’m taking off Wednesday to do shit and I’m working Saturday instead of Sunday so I can go to graduation. It’ll be crazy this week.

Oh, and this.

-All

#nowplaying- Starfuckers by NIN.
#nowwatching- I don’t want to talk about it.
#nowreading- ugh.
#mood- fucking tired. Bedtime.

Poison + Wine

This update has needed to happen for a while.

The house is final. We close on Monday and we have to leave the duplex by the 30th. Bart said I should be packed by next weekend. So that’s happening.
Finals is coming up, like, now. Next Tuesday is my government final, then my other finals are from the 10th to the 17th (except for my philosophy one, which is due on the 16th because he likes to be inconvenient).
Work is…fine. I took off next Wednesday but I found out today that my class graduation is next Sunday, and I cannot fucking miss that. I fucking cannot, okay. So when I work on Saturday I’ll try to switch with someone then ask my supervisor.
Speaking of, yeah. Today was the last day for seniors if they didn’t have to take finals. It would be over now if I hadn’t dropped out. I would have actually had a fucking chance at a normal fucking life–but no, no, I went and fucked it all up. Because I have to, right? Because it’s my fucking nature. I can’t do anything normal.
I’m not saying my life is shit–it’s not, not even close. I’m so fucking lucky. I just would have been a little bit luckier if I hadn’t done what I did.
Anyway, I have to go to fucking graduation. It will be the last fucking time I will ever fucking see any of the people in my grade. None of them really even know (or if they do, care) about my existence, but- I need it. I need to see them all again. Chris especially. I just- I don’t fucking know. Closure, I guess.

But whatever. I’m in college now, I have a…girlfriend, which freaks me the fuck out but that’s what it is. I’m fucked up from my last relationship and I think I’ll always be. It’s a part of me, like everything else. It’s a fucking part of me.

The title of this post comes from The Civil Wars’s song, which I am listening to now. Obviously I have a lot of pent-up something, anger maybe. I cuss a lot when I get stressed. I haven’t written in fucking forever and I’m starting to unravel. It is not good. I need to bleed.

The next few weeks are going to be fucking crazy.

Oh, and it happened. I got a tumblr. Oops. Link later, when I get the balls.

-All

#nowplaying- Poison & Wine, and otherwise random shit. I’m trying Fleet Foxes.
#nowwatching- umm, not really anything, I guess.
#nowreading- shit for my finals.
#mood- I need to write.

My Second Drink Creation: Sour Black Blood Crusta

Ingredients:

Sugar (duh)
Great Value Fruit Punch drink mix
Propel Zero Kiwi Strawberry drink mix
Warheads Super Sour Black Cherry spray candy

Mix half of each of the two drink mixes in a glass of water, stir, etc. Spray the Warheads candy spray around the rim of the martini glass (I did heavily because I like sugar), and tip the glass sideways into a small plate with sugar. Run the rim around in the sugar so it sticks, then pour some of the drink into the glass (you’ll get about two martini-glasses worth from the mix), and voilĂ .

To be honest, I used the spray candy because we currently don’t have any fruit about the house other than lemons, which are my mum’s, and also because I wanted to try it because Warheads spray candy is so good.

Just a quick warning: it makes your fingers really sticky. But it’s SO WORTH IT.

(No alcohol was used.)

-All

#nowplaying- iheartradio’s Don’t Stop the Music radio station. No shame.
#nowwatching- Girls on HBO.
#nowreading- dumb stories I have to write essays on for English.
#mood- pretty fucking awesome. Sugar is so gooooood.

Major Update

I’ll try to do this quick since I’m exhausted.

Work is going well. I’m getting to where I talk to people more.
College only has about three weeks left. I feel so much better now–the least stressed I’ve felt in months. Hopefully it’s just a slick downhill ride from here, minus the finals of course.
I haven’t talked to Britta really for about a week.
The house is a done deal now, and we close on May 7. We’re already packing and such. I bought a desk today (and a magnet). Pictures above.
I only have insurance through Walgreen’s now, and that’s just for my meds so they’re not crazy expensive. The only problem is that they’re pills instead of soltabs and liquid. It’s not that difficult though, and the previous forms tasted awful too, so it’s not really that big of a deal.
I registered for classes today, but it’s not completely confirmed because I haven’t set up my financial stuff. I submitted my FAFSA today so hopefully in a week I’ll be able to choose the financial aid option. If nothing changes, though, I’ll be taking German, Problem Solving & Programming Concepts, Technical Writing, and Religions of the World. The Technical Writing is online, and the rest are seated, Monday through Thursday during the day. I don’t think it’ll be too bad. I’m actually pretty excited about it.

I’m exhausted so I’m going to have to go to bed.

-All

Saturday’s Bonfire: The Fire and My Tweets

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So this is the first-ever slideshow on scb. It includes a few pictures of the bonfire (my folks know how to build a motherfuckin’ fire) and my tweets throughout the evening. I’m too lazy to talk about anything else that happened, not to mention I don’t remember that much, so just refer to the tweets, because they do a good job at summarizing.

A massive update is coming up after this.

-All